I wrote this as a way of describing how I feel when my medication isn't working properly. It's short because it was difficult for me to write.
The Other World
As I walk through the town, looking desperately for something to pull me down, to anchor me, I know it's too late - I've already started to float away. I'm in this world, but not of it. I belong to the Other World now.
This shouldn't be happening. Not today. I'm sure I've remembered to take my pills every day this week. But when I take a step, I stumble, and when I take a breath, I shiver. Already my eyes are going fuzzy. There's no way I can keep walking now. I manage to make it as far as the park, then I lie down on the grass and let the Other World take over.
There's a storm approaching fast, the dark clouds gathering as I watch. The people around me have stopped what they were doing, and every head is turned towards me. I feel my heart pounding as their eyes bore into me, eyes that are black and dead. I throw my arms over my face, trying to make myself small, trying to make myself disappear. But I can hear screaming inside my head.
It takes me a while to realise that the screaming is coming from me. My mouth is open, shouting, dry. The people don't react, don't even move. They just stare. The more they look at me, the more I shiver, and I can feel cold tears forming, pooling in my eyes but not ready to escape. I'm frozen to the spot, lying on this patch of grass which is already starting to wither and die. Everything I touch, I kill.
When the rain starts, it's freezing cold. Slowly at first, then a torrent, battering me into the ground. I open my mouth, and let the raindrops flood in. I want the rain to drown me. Life is so strange here, and when life isn't right, the only answer is death.
But I'm not going to die today. I can feel my heart rate returning to normal, and the rain has stopped. Through my closed eyes, I can see the red film of my eyelids glowing - the sun has come back out.
As I lie there on the grass, somebody reaches out and takes my hand.
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